Chapter 1 - ...is worth way too many words

Gatewalker Chapter 1

Origins

"The first time I died, I was sixteen years old and going to school on the island known, at the time, as Manhattan..."

These were the first words of a story I wrote when I was seventeen years old and going to school on the island still known as Manhattan. The year was 1999, I was failing at school but succeeding at youth, and had just discovered the world of heroic fantasy through books like R.A. Salvatore's Dark Elf and Icewind Dale trilogies, and games like Dungeons & Dragons and Rifts. 

The original story wasn't even really a story at all. It was two hand-written pages -- one whole sheet of narrow-ruled loose leaf paper -- depicting a single scene: a kid -- basically Me -- riding the train home from school -- as I did every day -- describes, in great detail, his own death at the hands of a crazy dude with a gun. It was melodramatic and flowery (at one point, after being shot, he locks eyes with his own reflection and doesn't recognize himself for the look of horror on his face) (I was really into The Crow) but, as with most of my ideas from that era, it had the seed of something cool.

Eight years later, when I decided to make a go of it as a professional writer, this story jumped immediately to the forefront of my mind as one I'd been waiting to tell. I knew my original opening was way too purple and green, so I chose to use it as inspiration, a guidepost, and start in a much more interesting place... the rebirth.

"Brian's eyes opened onto a cottage cheese ceiling," were the first words I wrote of this new beginning,  and the entire first chapter -- basically a less refined version of what you see on JukePop -- flowed out of me with surprising ease. But then I stopped, because, I realized, it was the first chapter and I was already preparing to spill the beans on the entire mystery of Brian's past.

Which meant I needed to get into some heavy worldbuilding... and I'd done none. My story took place in the real world, and that world was there for me to describe freely, but the other world of Gatewalker... THAT needed some serious work.

So, I stepped back from it at that point and started thinking about the world my story took place in. Soon, other stories stepped in to fill the void and Gatewalker went unfinished, but not forgotten.

Fast-forward five more years and there I am, staring at the JukePop ad on Craigslist, wondering which one of my stories could work as a serial...

Fast-forward five more months, and here we are now. :)

Making-Of

So, I guess I'm doing these blogs in sections, because it takes entirely too much thought and effort to construct one continuous narrative about all the stuff I want to talk about, and I've got fiction to write.

One thing I wanted to cover about the writing of this chapter is that, right up until a week before I submitted to JukePop, it opened with Brian's awakening. Just, no explanation, BAM, here you go, feel some stuff. I loved -- LOVED -- the idea of starting a story with the vivid, traumatic experience of coming back to life after a violent death. This isn't some miraculous rebirth for Brian; it fuggin SUCKS. Everything hurts. Everything is cold. His entire sense of equilibrium, his sense of reality, is all flipped and FUBAR.

Congratulations, kid, you're alive again!

*ragged scream*

Isn't that great?! And you don't have to drink blood or avoid sunlight or anything!

*agonized groan*

(yes, for those of you who were wondering -- SPOILERS -- Brian is not a vampire, sorry)

Anyway... this was the opening I wanted, but I didn't know how to end it without info-dumping everything and the kitchen sink. These were the challenges I'd avoided five years ago.

So, I consulted several storytellers who I trust implicitly, and one of them, my buddy Mike, made it all click. We were sitting in the Shari's diner by my home and I was explaining the basic gist of the story, how it opens and why it opens there, and suddenly he reached across the table, slapped the forkful of pie I was about to eat out of my hand, grabbed me by the front of my shirt (what, this is how I remember it), and said:

"You just told me the most interesting part of your story, and it's not even in the story."

He was talking about the subway scene. Brian's sudden, unexpected death, which I wrote, horribly, thirteen years ago, and then decided to skip in favor of my TRAUMA opening.

So, I started thinking about how I could work the subway scene in. And that led me to remember another story I'd given up on years ago because I'd seen too many movies, comics, and TV shows similar to it. Suddenly, the few remaining elements of that story that were still usable felt perfect for Gatewalker... and that's how Claire and Danny joined the story. 

But, now there was a pacing problem.

The story jumped directly from Brian dying to him waking up, and it just... didn't... feel... right. The readers needed a break. They needed to catch their breath and sort of clear their palatte so that the beginning of the next section could hit them with the desired impact. (you guys tell me; did it work?)

So, I added the interlude; part 1.5 of the story. That will be explained more as the story continues, but lemme just say, it's my favorite part of the first chapter. I loved writing it and you will see its like again.

Once I had that pacing worked out, I realized that the chapter had a rhythm to it now that allowed me to cut out early, before all the explaining happened. And once I had that, the rest just fell into place.

So, special thanks to Mike Murphy for slapping me around when I needed it.

Okay, this post has gone on WAY too long, but screw it, the blog is still finding its shape. We'll all look back on this one day and laugh. Right?

One more segment...

Soundtrack

All my stories have soundtracks and Gatewalker is no different. 

For chapter one, I didn't have any particular music attached to the scenes or characters conceptually, but I did listen to several albums during the writing. The one that fits the atmosphere of chapter one the best is the soundtrack to the movie Collateral. It's got a great mix of songs; very eclectic, as are all Michael Mann film soundtracks, but each track is perfect for its moment in the movie. 

The one I probably played on loop the most as I wrote Brian's scenes with Sevellis was track 13, Car Crash by Antonio Pinto. It's quiet, it's desolate; captures the isolation and trauma Brian is feeling in that empty apartment. 

(there's at least a page's worth of prose that I cut out of the story just drawing out the quietude of those scenes -- I loved the atmosphere, but worried it might be boring for the SLAM BANG Opening chapter of a serial, so I chopped -- hopefully some of that atmosphere remains)

And I think that's just about enough of that then thankyouverymuch. To think, I was worried that I wouldn't have enough to talk about on this blog. 

Okay, Chapter 1 bonus content is complete! Give me feedback! Does it work? Is it interesting? Am I just babbling incoherently? I welcome your comments, criticsms, and suggestions (that Oxford comma was just for you, Kerry).

See you again after Chapter 2!